Well here is another story that supports the possibility the owners are morons (note I said possibility). For a X-Mas the hotel management gave their employees Visa Gift Cards. Now this is a great idea. It’s only for ten bucks. But when your as tight as these cheapskates this is quite generous.

The problem is that when the employees try to use these 10 buck gift cards they are told the card doesn’t work. I have yet to try it. The reason is because I figured this shit would happen. Now one employee has got it to work, at the local movie theater.

So it’s either a case that the owners are possibly morons or that every local retailer in the stateline area are morons. Maybe this local movie theater employees are certified genius’s. These movie theater employees can make popcorn and split atoms. This theory explains why I saw Stephen Hawking making popcorn there.

Now put on your thinking caps, it’s science time. Occam’s Razor, ever hear of it? Here is what it is in simple terms:

All things being equal, the simplest explanation tends to be the right one.

So using Occam’s Razor what is the simplest explanation? All local retailers are morons or this new group of owners are? I will leave you to figure this out for yourself.

Here is a neat memo from the Owner. Remember that my special sarcasm filter is on. Now I thought it was pretty nice of them to offer this service to this <Name Removed>. Right below is the almost unaltered memo (names removed for my protection and theirs), right after that is the same memo with comments generated by the universal bullshit translator.

Here’s the original:

December 28, 2002
To: Front Desk
From: <Name Removed>
RE: Instructions for Security

<Name Removed> has requested that <Name Removed> is provided security from 3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. while she sells tickets until security leaves the premises. <Name Removed> will be contacting the front desk for this purpose at 3:15 q.m. each morning. Please make sure Security is waiting for <Name Removed> in the morning.

Thank You,

<Name Removed>

Here is my copy ran through the universal bullshit translator (the translator’s output will be in bold):

December 28, 2002
To: Lowly Peons
From: Your God
RE: Instructions for Security

Your God has requested that Some High Up Flunky is provided security from 3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. (we don’t give a shit if the rest of the hotel has security) while she sells tickets until security leaves the premises. Some High Up Flunky will be contacting the Lowly Peons (who we deem does not need security) for this purpose at 3:15 q.m. each morning. Please make sure Security (because Security has nothing better to do) is waiting for Some High Up Flunky in the morning. From here on in Security’s title is Babysitter.

Thank You,

Your God

I personally find this amusing. I mean it’s not like I was robbed before or anything. It makes me wonder if these people give a shit about their employee’s. I think they don’t even give one shit. What can you do?

Well the GuestBook is getting it’s exercise. Three new entries in december. The latest is from a fellow auditor. A comrade in arms you could say. Here is what Randy had to say:

This is a pretty cool site. I’ve been an auditor for over 3 years…first yr and a half at a de-flagged HI (Little Rock, AR)on ENCORE, with a bad tape drive, no support modem for L-TRACS or whoever to dial into our system, and worst of all…NO HINDUSTANI BLOOD IN MY FAMILY!!!…most recently at a Comfort Inn/Suites…still supporting the PATEL CARTEL…I DID learn how to say “Boy I need to get some sleep” in Gujarati…(sounds like)—>ma-ne-hun-gah-VEH-sheh!!!Try that one with your property owner.

Yeah well I’m never going to get used to these cheap ass fucks. Seriously these guys are cheap. I can’t believe how bad they are. Yeah I miss our HI flag. I’ll try that phrase in Gujarati out man. Thanks for stopping by Randy.

I bought a Xbox. I bought a Xbox and Halo. I bought a Xbox, Halo, and the Xbox dvd controller. Oh yeah I got the Xbox that includes the two sega games. Two games that will never enter my Xbox.Two games I sure as shit wouldn’t have wasted my hard earned money on. JSRF Jet Set Radio Future and SEGA GT 2002 are the kind of games I really don’t like. I don’t like racing games. JSRF is the kind of console style game that makes my head hurt.

Halo is quite good. I was worried about it. I was worried about the whole using a controller instead of a keyboard and mouse. Me and FPS on consoles usually don’t get along. I’m not having that problem with Halo. Halo’s controls just work. Sure I need some practice with the sniper rifle, other than that it just works.

With the Xbox I have upgraded dvd playback. My poor old PS2 was just not doing it. All the dvd’s that had problems with the PS2 work fine on the Xbox. And I have zoom now. The Xbox will also rip audio cd’s onto it’s hard drive. How cool is that?

If this site is lacking in updates it can be blamed on Halo, Dark Age of Camelot, and the AOD guild site. Man I need more time.

Hegemonia is a game I picked up before x-mas. I bought solely because the guys at Penny Arcade said it was good. It’s a rts game in space. But it’s more. It’s a realtime version of games like Master Of Orion. Here 3 shot of it:

So you can see it has some decent graphics as well. It is a little deep for a rts, I’ve only played the first two levels. It may be a keeper.

From my host:

There will be a planned MySQL database server and HTTP outage on December 23, 2002 We plan on upgrading MySQL and HTTP to fix varoious outages. The timeframe for this upgrade will be from 3:00PM to 9:00PM EST. The estimated downtime will be about 5 minutes.

So between 3:00PM to 9:00PM be aware of possible downtime here at Hotelblues.com.

This was the funniest piece of spam I have ever had the privilege to delete. It’s like something out of a Saturday Night Live skit. The e-mail address of the sender was coloncleanse2abu@excite.com. Colon Cleanser would be the name of the supposed product, huh? Here is the spam in it’s entirety (and it’s long):

From: coloncleanse2abu@excite.com
Subject: Bowels, How do you Clean them?

Let me ask you this…which is worse?

A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of 300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry this time.

B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray’d, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it’s time to get your house in order because you’ll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today.

A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the University of Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midst of the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and child behind, wondering what just hit them.

Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? For most of us, we do it so we won’t need false teeth and Fixodent down the road…right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great.

But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bag around?

Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD’s AGREE with us!! Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse in the world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I’m not kidding…

This subject is not even up for debate. It’s a proven fact. The problem is, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don’t be one of them.

****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic material which may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.

Let’s talk stools.

The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it’s dark brown in color, and it sinks, and it stinks, that’s not good. And don’t feel bad, that’s the way most people are. What you want to see is light brown color, which means it’s full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor, and a stool that floats. We’re talking low-density here folks. The more compaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If the veins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the bench press, you NEED to cleanse your colon.

When you do the cleanse, after the first few days, you will know you are cleansing when you see the above good stuff happening, and you are eliminating at least 2-3 times per day.

Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. Its also very economical at $51.50, for all three products. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.

People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne, cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restored regularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that are constantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to heal again. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from your food and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with the results.

At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside your own colon, or you’re ready to do something about cleaning it out.

Want more info? Click here and I’ll send it to you, including instructions on how to take it. And yes, I have taken it myself.

Currently available only in the U.S. and Canada. Seeking Distributors to meet high demand.

Can you believe this shit? Oops that’s a bad pun seeing what this spam is dealing with. The thing that amazes me the most is the fact that some jackass took the time and energy to write this. There has to be an easier way to make money.

Spam this asshole if your not afraid of this guy getting your e-mail address.