This could very well be a very controversial topic. I went to the fireworks last night for the Sand Festival. Me and the Isley’s, the Saddler’s, and the Lindsey’s. Pathetic opening at the fireworks. They were really low and from where we were sitting a tree blocked the view. Ok I’m not here to talk about fireworks. In school most of us had nicknames. I was referred to by many names by many people. Tank, Mayo, Velvet, Tuubero The Good Luck God Of The Lottery, and probably a few I have forgotten. Most of us has had nicknames. I don’t think it’s a big deal.

I refer to one of my friends as Lumpy. I Have since high school. I don’t remember who gave it to him. And it’s not meant in offense.

Tonight I was asked to stop referring to him as Lumpy. I was told to use Uncle Dan. Lumpy told me because his wife told him. Shit I don’t really have that big of a problem with the whole issue. In fact I understand why. They don’t want the kids referring to him this way. What I don’t like is that the wife couldn’t tell me this herself.

I’m big on “if you have to tell someone something, do it your fucking self not have someone else do it for you.” If any of my friends (or their wives for that matter) have a problem I would like to think they would know to tell me themselves. I have something to say I say it to who it needs to said to. I won’t have someone else do my dirty work for me. I suppose Lumpy’s wife doesn’t know me that well. It just kind of irks me.

I know what your thinking. Am I not really doing what I’m bitching about by writing this here on the website? And I would have to say yes. But in my defense this just happened. Give or take a hour or two. When I see The Bride Of Lumpy I will tell her. Any of my friends want to chime in on this one? If so direct any comments to my e-mail or throw one into the GuestBook.

The bellman last night paid me a complement. At least I think he did. I guess I’m not so up to date on the lingo kids throw around these days. He told me that I “lay it down”. He went on to say he thought it was cool that I spoke my mind and that I wasn’t afraid to tell the managers what I thought. I almost expected him to tell me to “keep it real”.

Now sure it’s pretty neat that the young kids dig me. Well at least this one kid. But I’m not to sure if that’s the message I want to spread around to the youngsters. I really don’t want to make any waves. At least I try not to make any waves. But my sub-conscious has a way of getting me to say and do things that I really wouldn’t want to say. Strictly speaking as a good employee.

But the idea of “laying it down” and “keeping it real” does strike a chord that I find I’m attracted to. I like thinking I’m a badass. I like to think that I’m some kind of crusader for the oppressed. And I just really like to think I’m a thorn in someone’s side. But the truth is that the “they” I refer to probably don’t even give two shits about me. “They” most likely never have even visited this site.

To be honest with you, I’m not even sure why I even bother any more. I do this out of habit? Or maybe part of hopes I will get the chance to “keep it real.” Time will tell. It always does.

I sat and talked to the chick I had a crush on in high school for about fifteen minutes tonight. I was expecting some horrible exchange between her and myself. Again it’s just me. I expected her to tell me she felt uncomfortable. That’s a keyword by the way. Uncomfortable. Kinda like Pee Wee’s Play House. Sorry that was a cheap shot that only one person will get. So it was nice seeing an old classmate and acquaintance.

Me and Stanley because we had nothing better to do yesterday morning talked about further casting in my movie. The consensus is that Mr. Isley would be played by a young Tom Hanks. Rindfliesch would be Edward Norton. Stanley could be done by a young Kevin Costner. My hypothetical movie would never really work. Kevin Smith has made the movies I would have ended up doing. I have the same sense of humor as Smith. Star Wars jokes would’ve been in any movie I would have made. That and dick and fart jokes.

Some random thoughts I’ll throw out here. Pretty amazing that I updated on a day off. Last post kinda sounded like I was a little bitter? Maybe. I got over it. Life is what you make of it. What was I thinking?

You ever think about who would play you or your friends in a movie about your life? I can’t even begging to guess who could play me. The only friend of mine I could cast would be Ross. Chasing Amy’s Jason Lee could play Ross. Can you tell I’ve been watching the Smith movies?

Speaking of movies, I picked up a DVD player. I have fallen in love with the format. I own Chasing Amy and Mallrats. Both of course Kevin Smith. Both of them are packed with extras. Deleted footage and the feature I love, commentary. I love the commentary feature, I do. Especially on the Kevin Smith movies.

Speaking of Kevin Smith. Has anyone else downloaded the trailer to his new movie? I thought it was very funny. Lots of the characters from the previous four movies make a return in this one.

Well it’s that time of year when the Sand Festival comes into town. The Sand Festival is the local carnival for the small town I live in. Every year it gets smaller and lamer. This is also the time of year I run into old classmates. Especially because this year is the tenth year anniversary of my class graduating from high school. I’m really not sure if I want to run into some of my old class mates. Some things are best left forgotten. And some things are best left unsaid.

There’s one I really possibly don’t want to run into. Maybe, it’s just a hunch that I didn’t want to run into her. I have developed a new way of thinking since the last time I ran into her. Thanks to “that one girl” I have some new ideas. These ideas may be off base. But they have entered my head.

This one has a Husband. She has had the Husband for a long while. I met him a few years ago coincidentally enough at the Sand Festival. It seems this year I didn’t notice her. But I got (I think) a look from the Husband. Again it’s just me. I could be way off base. But it makes me wonder what kind of stories this guy has been told. And I wonder if the dude gets a good chuckle off of my expense.

Back to the ten years thing. It doesn’t seem my class is going to have a ten year reunion. But the idea of the prospect of going to one has made me think. It makes me think what the fuck have I done with my life in the last decade? Huh? Really what the fuck have I accomplished? Nada. Not a thing. Oops, wait there is this website. So in ten years I have only managed to make a website and then manage to get fired for it. That’s it. Nothing else. No family, no house, nothing.

Fuck it. Isley was right. I went home and wrote about her.

Well I’m still on track with my non-smoking life. I also have cut out the drinking. I can say that I don’t miss smoking. Drinking I do miss. Of course It’s not the actual drinking part that I miss. It’s the comradeship I miss. Of course not that the comradeship of late has been all that great.

Drinking with a bunch of kids just doesn’t do it. Not much I can really do to change that though. I do get to have some fun every once in awhile. I have an invite from the Ross’s I plan to take advantage of soon. Me and the Isley’s go out for dinner every now and then also.

But I suspect that part of the “problem” is me. The bar scene just isn’t fun anymore. Maybe I’m finally getting old? I do use the phrase “kids these days” a lot more than I probably should. Maybe I had to much fun back in the old days. I don’t really know what’s wrong with me. Maybe it’s because June is the ten year anniversary of me graduating from high school. This of course ties in with the age thing. I’m going to be thirty next year.

I have found now that I don’t drink that I can’t stand drunk people. When I drank I could tolerate them. Now I can’t deal with them. Drunk people just annoy the hell out of me.

I think I know what the real problem is. I just don’t want to talk about it. Or even admit that it is a problem. Cryptic. More on this train of thought later.

I also had a no name sign the before mentioned GuestBook and asks this question:

Date: 05/30/01
Time: 05:35 PM

Comments:
I think you should work at Menard$. Change is Good:)

I hate those damn smiley faces. Fuck people who use that shit. Oops sorry. I just really hate that shit. It just gets under my craw.

Anyway back to the comment no name brought up. Menard$? Sure it would be ok:) But I tried a few years ago and struck out:( Maybe I will re-apply? Change is good? Sorry I disagree. I hate change. Maybe even fear it. So to summarize, change is bad and that :) shit is too.