I saw Spider-Man 2 again. I just got back from the show. I want to go on the record saying that Spider-Man 2 is the greatest superhero movie ever made. It is the purest translation of a comic book to a movie.

Seeing this movie and the first Spider-Man flick reminds me just why Spidey is my favorite of all the superheroes. Peter Parker/Spider-Man is the every man. He’s me, he’s you. He worries about the shit that I worry about and I know I said it before.

It’s just that how many of these superheroes are your average joe? And I’m going to aim my fire at those rich snob DC fucking heroes. Batman? A fucking rich guy. Superman? Another fucking rich guy. And sure there are a few Marvel guys like that.

But how can I associate with fucking these rich got it all superheroes? If you take away their powers and their skin tight costumes they still got none of the problems I do. It’s nice to see poor Peter Parker and his normal problems. I can understand what he feels.

I’ve seen Spider-Man 2 twice now. This movie is one of those I can watch a hundred more times. I know for a fact I’ll see it again. Shit I may even go see it again tonight. It was that good. If you saw the first movie and you liked it, if you even slightly dig the Spider-Man comic you got to go see this movie.

First let me just say Spider-Man 2 was fucking awesome! Ok that’s out of my system. I hate to be back to my negative self here, but I have one problem to point out. Not really a problem even really. Just a thing I noticed. It’s the Spider-Man 2 Superman 2 connection. I was going to list this shit myself but I’m lazy and I found this instead over at the Penny Arcade forums:

Superman 2

• Villains from the past come back to haunt Superman
• Superman looses his powers because he no longer wants to be a superhero
• Several scene feature him running down the street and ripping open his suit to reveal the insignia on his chest
• Superman’s identity is compromised.
• Superman’s love finds out his identity.
• Superman reclaims his powers after realizing the world needs him
• Superman is visited by a disembodied vision of his parental figures to discuss the importance of his powers.

Spider-Man 2

• Villains from the past come back to haunt Spider-Man
• Spider-Man looses his powers because he no longer wants to be a superhero
• Several scene feature him running down the street and ripping open his suit to reveal the insignia on his chest
• Spider-Man’s identity is compromised.
• Spider-Man’s love finds out his identity.
• Spider-Man reclaims his powers after realizing the world needs him
• Spider-Man is visited by a disembodied vision of his parental figures to discuss the importance of his powers.

So again this isn’t a bad thing. The second Superman movie was the best of that series. It works on so many levels. Why not pay homage (steal) to that great movie? And at least Sam Raimi is a smart enough guy to steal from the good movies. And Don’t get me wrong Spider-Man 2 has a lot going on. I’m not saying it’s a carbon copy of the Superman movie. It’s just that a certain recipe was used in making the flick. And it’s a good thing for all of us that enjoy these kinds of movies.

I don’t care what you hear. I don’t care what you think. I just wanted to be clear on these two things. I made the mistake with the Hulk movie of trying to be clever in telling you it sucked. I’m not doing that this time. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was shit. It should have been called Terminator 3: The Same Old Thing. Because this piece of shit was a cheap imitation of Cameron’s second Terminator movie. And that’s being polite.

Avoid this movie. Avoid this movie if you liked the first two. This third flick is the work of a cheap no talent fuck. Is it any surprise that Cameron didn’t have anything to do with it? No, because it’s utter shit. T3 was predictable from the beginning. I’m not talking about the beginning of the flick. Since the first trailer I knew this movie was going to suck.

The worst thing about it seeing this movie was the fact I had said to myself “I’m not going to go see this piece of shit”, somewhere along that thought process I made a mistake. I suppose I shouldn’t get so bent of out of shape about a bad movie. But I do. And here’s the thing. I think the people involved with T3 need to pay a heavy price. They all need to pay for cheapening the great finish of T2. I’m not talking about monetary payment. All though being able to sue over bad movie is a good idea and may need to be explored as an option at a later date.

No I’m saying these people need to pay the ultimate price. Death. Death in a number of different ways. The young people in the flick can be spared. They are young and may not understand about the artistic roll call. So I’m willing to over look it this time. But the director and the producers, they need to be put down. For the sake of future movies. These people shouldn’t be allowed to continue. Whether it be a ban from making movies or maybe they just need to be took out back and be shot. And I’m willing to let them have a clean death. A nice shot right to the back of the head.

I mean what was Schwarzenegger thinking? Does he need the paycheck that bad? Shit if he’s hurting for money, I would be willing to send him what I can. Do these people who make these movies even like the movies themselves? How could they be fans of this series? How could they be fans of this series when they make a movie like T3? I just don’t understand it. It’s to bad Schwarzenegger wasn’t born here in America. Because he would be the perfect bad actor to bad politician since Reagan.

Now you will have to excuse me, I need to exorcise this movie from my system. I think a T2 multiple viewing will help. In time my pain will pass, I hope.

This title may tell some people enough. But for shits and giggles I’m going to explain it like you all don’t know what I’m talking about.

The first thing we need to is figure out just what the term fanboy means. No legitimate dictionary has the word in it’s pages. So you have to look else where for a definition of this term. The only place I could find on the net that has a definition is a place called Wikipedia, a self described “free encyclopedia”. Here is what they say:

Fanboy is a derogatory term used to describe someone who is utterly devoted to a hobby or a subject, to the point where it becomes an obsession. “Fanboys” are often experts on minor details regarding their hobbies, and they take these details extremely seriously. The stereotypical image often associated with Star Trek fans (or Trekkies) can be used to describe a fanboy: a person with little or no social life outside the circle of fans he or she associates with.

Hits it on the head in my opinion. Of course it’s not something I admit to people who are not into comic books. On the other hand the other Marvel fanboys irritate me. I can’t stand them. My favorite comic book store Tomorrow Is Yesterday is full of them.

But since I’m coming out of the closet, I admit I am a Marvel fanboy. I have been for a long time. To some who actually read what I write this may not come to any surprise. The next question is why am I a Marvel fanboy? The simplest answer is that when I started reading comics Marvel had the best stuff. I’m talking late 70’s early 80’s. Marvel’s characters had a touch of the common man. They had problems that you and me would face. And in my opinion the stories Marvel told were just the best comics at that time.

So it pisses me off big time whenever a Marvel character gets the big screen treatment. It pisses me off because the Marvel fanboy in me always comes out. I can’t help it. I nitpick the movies. I bitch and complain when they fuck up a totally perfect story and make a shit movie. Daredevil jumps to mind.

It boggles my mind. Lets use the Hulk movie for example of how they take a simple concept and ruin it by trying to modernize it. Betty Ross (the girlfriend of Bruce Banners) in the movie is a scientist. In the comics she’s just a housewife kind of women. What does turning her into a scientist accomplish? Other than appeasing the beast that is politically correctness?

The way the Hulk comes about is another thing I have a problem with. In the comics it’s very simple. Banner worked for Betty’s dad General Ross. Banner invented the gamma bomb. A commie spy sabotage’s the test run of the bomb. Banner races out to save Rick Jones who had wandered out into the test site. Simple yet effective. Sure you can’t have any references to a commie spy. But you could have still used the sabotage plot.

There were other issues I had with the film, but that’s something for another post. But you see now what I mean when I say I’m a Marvel fanboy.

I’ve seen the second X-Men movie twice now. I have been holding off on commenting for a reason I really couldn’t identify. But after going through some of my old comics I realized what it was. It was a certain deja vu I felt seeing the movie. I guess it shouldn’t come to anyones surprise that the new X-Men movie is not an original idea. God Loves, Man Kills (pictured below) was Marvel Graphic Novel number 5.

It was published back in 1982 and it and the X2 movie share the same basic plot and characters. William Stryker, his plot against the mutants, making his own Cerebro, Magneto and the X-Men teaming up is all there.

The story is just broken down to it’s simplest form. Simplified for the non X-Men fans. But it’s pretty much the same. Except it’s not. It’s really a watered down version of a groundbreaking comic story.

Let’s take Stryker for example. The movie Stryker hatred for muties is fueled by the fact he had a son that was a mutant. Yeah that’s pretty good motivation. Throw in the bit about how he sent the kid to Xavier’s mutant school adds to the movie Strykers dislike of mutants.

But in the comic the character of Stryker is so much more. This Stryker also had a child that was a mutant. But his reaction to the child was that it was a monster and the comic Stryker killed his child. But that wasn’t enough. The comic Stryker also kills his wife because he had decided it was her fault for bringing the monster into this world.

Now you have a good start for the comic Stryker going here. But it gets better. The comic Stryker finds religion and truly believes that all mutants are the spawns of satan. So the comic Stryker sets up a church to start a crusade against the worlds mutants.

All of the religious ideas are stripped from the movie. And it hurts the movie Strykers character. The movie Stryker is a hollow movie badguy and nothing more. It’s a shame in a way because the comic Stryker was just a guy doing what he believed was right. Sure he was a madman but it worked better.

The rest of it was pretty much the same. But it’s all mixed together with other X-Men stories. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the second X-Men movie. You can’t take a comic book story and translate it into a movie. Some of the ideas and plots have to be dropped or changed to suit the fickle movie going audience.

And I think that has to be done, I really do. If the third movie is going to cover the whole Phoenix story it has to be taken a carefully look at and cuts and changes need to be made to make it a non comic fan friendly movie.

In the end if you like the second movie and you want to experience this story the way it was meant to be go to your local comic book store and look for the just republished God Loves, Man Kills.

Nuff Said.

It sucked. I’m sorry but this one can’t be argued. If you disagree, your wrong. It’s not a matter of opinion, it sucks and that is a fact.

It was all wrong. And that is something I can’t understand for the life of me. How can this movie suck when they have such excellent source material?

All these pinheads had to do was follow the stories from the classic comics. And I’m not talking about the the original stuff that Stan Lee wrote. Sure some of that was good. No when I say source material I refer to the great Frank Miller run on the comic in the early/late 80’s. Man that was good stuff.

One point that really irks me. Is how they changed the accident that made DareDevil what he is. What we have in the movie is the kid getting his powers and blindness in a stupid accident pretty much caused by himself. What does this add? In the original DareDevil gets his powers in an accident sure. But he gets in that accident saving an old guy. That’s heroic. That say’s a lot about the character. The movie version just cheapens the character of DareDevil. It’s to bad.

Another point and then I’m done ranting. Did you notice that DareDevil killed more than a few people? Either directly or indirectly, he killed people? That’s another thing I don’t remember about the character.

Well they all can’t be as good as the Batman or Spider-Man movie. Here’s hoping that the Hulk and the second X-Men movie are better than this piece of shit.

First let me say that I read some where that the reviewer didn’t understand the ending. I guess maybe I have watched to many sci-fi flicks, because I didn’t see what could be so baffling. I won’t ruin it for anyone who hasn’t seen the flick. Of the movie of the summer Planet Of The Apes was mediocre at best. And lets face it mediocre is as best as we can hope.

Of the big movies of the summer I’ve seen Scary Movie 2, Jurassic Park 3, and now the Apes movie. The next big movie is Jay And Silent Bob Strikes Back. Yeah I have a weak spot for the Kevin Smith flicks. It’s a return to his dick and fart jokes venue. But that’s ok.