I just wanted to say that the site won’t be updated for a while. It’s not a closing, more along the lines of a extended sabbatical. I will still monitor the site and respond to any e-mails I get. Not that there has been a slew of response to the site as of late. I want to thank I Should Be Working for the boost in hits.

Those of you who really want to get a hold of me you know where I live. As usual if any one wants to contribute to the site get a hold of me. Again thanks.

This is just for Mr.. Jeff Ross. Drop me an e-mail, because I have lost your address. My computer is packed away. I moved out of the little house. Which reminds me, I have a leg from the chair you broke that one time. I was thinking of getting mounted or framed or something just to be a smart ass.

Ok I’m late in wishing Laura a happy birthday. But hell better late than never. The birthday party is today. Now she didn’t even expect for me to show up, because usually I never end up showing for these kinds of gatherings. I’m being yelled at for wanting to play on the computer so I’ll make it short an sweet. Happy Birthday Laura.

I saw Kevin and Chris Karstaedt at Applebee’s the other day, and I harassed Karstaedt into going to my website. Karstaedt left this message in the GuestBook:

Hey Turk, the FBI is not going to come after me for checking out your web site, right? This web site is pretty interesting. Maybe that picture of Kevin may find its way on here or not. That preacher needs to get a life. There is nothing more annoying than someone trying to press their religious beliefs on to other people. That guy needs to save himself. Talk to you later.

He added that he didn’t hear about the site from “pw Kevin.” I won’t comment on that seeing how Kevin has dirt on me (kinda).

This has been done a few times that I have seen. The first place I saw it was in an issue of Knights Of The Dinner Table.

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned having recently installed Windows 98 on my PC and that I am very happy with this operating system. I also showed him the Windows 98 CD, to my surprise he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned on the oven. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: ‘Do not worry, it is unharmed.’ After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: ‘Take a close look at it.’ To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but then on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription; an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D2
0616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746 F20666
96E64207468656D2CDA4F6E65204F5320
746F206272696E67207468656D20 616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726
B6E6573732062696E64207468656D

‘I cannot understand the fiery letters,’ I said.
‘No,’ he said ‘but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind

This is just one of those things I thought was damn clever and funny as hell.

I was in one of the those moods so I decided to find some funny stuff that suited my sense of humor. If you know me then you can maybe understand why I would find these two jokes funny.

Joke One

A magician was on stage doing his act, when he called for a volunteer from the audience. A man volunteered and went up on stage. The magician told him to pick up the 16 pound sledgehammer that was on stage next to a cement block and break the block apart with the sledgehammer so the audience would know the sledgehammer was real.

So, the man swung the sledgehammer with all his might and shattered the cement block. The magician now told the man to hit him square in the face with the sledgehammer.

Horrified, the man said, “No way. It’ll probably kill you”.

The magician insisted that the man hit him in the face, saying, “I’ll be fine. I promise you. Go ahead.”

“Well,”, the man replied, “Ok, here goes.”

Again, the man swung the sledgehammer and aimed it at the magician’s face. The result was very bloody. The magician’s nose was crushed, teeth fell out and blood everywhere. After 6 months in a coma in the hospital, the magician was lying in the hospital bed. One eye opened, the fingers flexed a bit, the other eye opened, and the magician sat straight up and said, “Ta-da!”

Joke Two

The Pentagon recently found it had too many Generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any General who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured, in a straight line along the retiring general’s body, between two points he chose.

The first General accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.

The second General asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

Meantime, the first General had tipped off the third. When he was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, “From the tip of my penis to the tip of my testicles.” The pension man said that would be fine, but he’d better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring.

The Medical Officer attended and asked the General to drop ’em and he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the General’s penis and began to work back. “My God!” He said, “Where are your testicles?” The General replied, “Back in Vietnam.”

Ok here is a question for you. I’m thinking about producing a t-shirt. It wouldn’t be anything fancy. Most likely a black shirt with white letters. It would say www.hotelblues.com and then right underneath that the slogan “The website that got one man fired and can do the same for you.”

So would anyone be interested in buying something like that? The price would be damn near what it will cost me. As soon as I hear from a friend who is going to get me a good deal on printing them I’ll have more specific details on what the price will be.

If anyone has any comments regarding my t-shirt idea drop me a line. Or if this is a dumb idea drop me a line. And if you would actually be interested in letting go some of your hard earned money for a t-shirt from my website drop me a line. That’s @hotelblues.com if you have not been paying attention.