I was watching Californication on  Netflix and had this exchange with Gawain which shows just how different we are musically:

[02:13] Turk: is cradle of filth real? the annoying voiced daughter mentioned them just now?
[02:13] Turk: I thought it crowd made that up
[02:13] Gawain: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[02:14] Gawain: yes, cradle of filth is a very very famous goth band. Everyone but you knows who they are. You kill me sometimes.

Honestly I thought it was a joke name made up by the IT Crowd writers. I looked at the wiki page and I just don’t care that I don’t know about a “very very” famous goth band.

Me and him have had this conversation a few times already:

[07:00] Gawain: Watching “unbreakable” again.
[23:30] Turk: jesus why man?
[23:30] Turk: have I not expressed my hatred of unbreakable?
[23:31] Turk: the newb (who I thought saw it too) just saw it recently and he hated it too
[23:35] Gawain: Really? Its probably in my top 10 favorite movies. Its certainly my favorite of Shamylaminanian’s films.
[23:35] Turk: psst
[23:35] Turk: the first one he did was a fluke
[23:35] Turk: I liked that one
[23:35] Gawain: yeah it was okay.
[23:36] Gawain: But I liked unbreakable a lot more.
[23:36] Turk: unbreakable offends me as a comic book collector
[23:36] Gawain: I thought the ending was a little bit meh, but I loved Bruce Willis as a normal dude who learned he was actually a super hero.
[23:37] Turk: and it does not at all mirror comic book stories
[23:37] Turk: and that’s why I hate it
[23:37] Turk: it’s all bullshit
[23:38] Gawain: I guess? The authenticity of the comic book bullshit is a very distant concern to me over the fact that bruce willis playing a reluctant superhero kicks ass.
[23:38] Turk: well your not a comic collector
[23:38] Gawain: true.
[23:38] Turk: and or don’t take comic books seriously
[23:39] Gawain: I suppose that its similar to the way I hated that fucking Sandra Bullock movie where she was a computer security expert and some super hackers had created a way to hack any computer on the planet using a tiny pi symbol in on a website. That sort of made me furious.
[23:39] Gawain: But I think that technically unbreakable was a better film.
[23:40] Turk: yes exactly
[23:40] Turk: to the sandra bullock thing
[23:40] Turk: not that its a better movie
[23:41] Gawain: Still, I enjoyed unbreakable. I’m sorry that it wasn’t authentic for you nerds.
[23:41] Turk: apology accepted
[23:41] Gawain: I think its probably the most “realistic” depiction of what would happen if a dude suddenly found out he was a super hero, comic bullshit aside, and that’s why I like the movie.
[23:41] Turk: oh bullshit
[23:41] Turk: in shallies little mind sure
[23:42] Gawain: What would be different?
[23:42] Turk: this unbreakable conversation goes back as far as 2006 by the way
[23:42] Turk: what would be different?
[23:42] Gawain: yeah yeah, what would be different?
[23:42] Turk: I would have to watch the piece of shit again
[23:42] Turk: samuel l jacksons character for one thing
[23:43] Gawain: If a dude who was super strong and resilient found out in a sudden way beyond his control that he was in fact a “super hero” how would his reactions be different?
[23:44] Turk: its jackson man
[23:44] Turk: his character
[23:44] Gawain: meh, that was just the foil. its unimportant to bruce willis’s character. Say he found out in a different way.
[23:44] Turk: what was it black fury? for fucks sake
[23:44] Gawain: What im saying is that his reactions are what I would expect to such an event.
[23:44] Turk: sure sure
[23:45] Turk: as I said in the past
[23:45] Turk: that movie just rubs me the wrong way
[23:46] Turk: I should like it
[23:46] Turk: but I don’t
[23:46] Gawain: … Is it the gay thing?
[23:46] Turk: it’s mostly that it’s that fucking shamalamadingdongs movie more than anything
[23:46] Turk: is there a gay plot in it?
[23:46] Turk: I don’t remember
[23:46] Gawain: No, I mean, how you’re gay, and there wasn’t a gay character in it for you to empathize with.
[23:46] Turk: I don’t like m night shamamma
[23:47] Turk: ahhaahahahaaha
[23:47] Gawain: hahahahahaha
[23:47] Turk: yes yes that is it
[23:47] Gawain: man I totally pulled that right off.
[23:47] Gawain: You are the best straight guy ever.
[23:47] Turk: my hatred for m night shamalama has turned me into a poofter
[23:47] Gawain: You’re totally the smothers brother with the mustache.
[23:47] Turk: this may go up as a chat log on my site
[23:47] Turk: I so need to post something
[23:48] Turk: the one with the mustache is the cool one?
[23:48] Gawain: no, hes the straight man.
[23:48] Turk: your the dumb fucker then? ok
[23:48] Gawain: yeah.
[23:48] Turk: I can live with that
[23:48] Turk: you being the dumb fucker
[23:48] Turk: this is so posted on my site
[23:48] Turk: admitting your the dumb fucker
[23:48] Turk: I WIN!!!!
[23:49] Gawain: You don’t win. I got you to admit to being homosexual.
[23:49] Gawain: Though honestly it won’t be a big surprise for anyone you know.
[23:49] Gawain: So I guess maybe you do win.
[23:49] Turk: I would rather be a peter poofter than a dumb fucker
[23:50] Gawain: Good thing I guess, huh?
[23:50] Turk: stop being funny now I need to copy and paste this

I’m so desperate to post something here. Thanks to Gawain for letting me be the “straight” man.

[00:00] Turk: boy don’t do a google image search for dick smothers
[00:00] Turk: wow
[00:01] Gawain: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
[00:01] Gawain: you need to add that to the chat log.

I’ve changed my gravatar to the Dick Smothers image below. I have found an image for Gawain to use as well.

I’m no good at compiling top ten lists of anything. The topic of top ten movies was brought up by Gawain.

[03:29] Gawain: My Top Ten Movies
[03:33] Turk: damn it I hate this top ten shit
[03:33] Gawain: hahahahaha
[03:33] Turk: fuck off
[03:33] Turk: V for Vendetta?
[03:34] Gawain: yeah?
[03:34] Turk: I did not know you fell down and hurt your head
[03:34] Turk: go to the hospital right now
[03:34] Gawain: that was a great movie. It wasn’t as good as the comic, but it was still awesome.
[03:34] Turk: see thing is
[03:35] Turk: either it is as good as the source material or it is shit
[03:36] Gawain: pffft. thats not true. I think the comics of Spider-Man are better than the movies, but the movies are ok. same with Batman. “the stand” by Stephen King is a great book, and a pretty good movie, but its not as good as the book. its not shit though.
[03:36] Turk: my world my rules
[03:39] Turk: Leviathan?
[03:39] Turk: Army Of Darkness?
[03:39] Gawain: yup.
[03:39] Turk: come on
[03:39] Gawain: and yup.
[03:39] Gawain: neither one are classics, but they are both great movies.
[03:39] Turk: are you bleeding from your head wound?
[03:39] Turk: apply pressure

I would have said more if I had seen Unbreakable in his list.

So far I only have a top 1 movie. Also the original Star Wars would have to be in there too. So my top 2. Added Raiders and Empire Strikes Back. So top 4.

1. Casablanca
2. The Empire Strikes Back
3. Star Wars
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark

I will update my list as I think of it.

And here is me and Gawain in a public service announcement about voting:

[00:02] Turk: so you voting today?
[00:03] Gawain: no
[00:03] Gawain: the only way to win is not to play.
[00:03] Turk: really? sitting this one out?
[00:03] Gawain: I’m sitting them all out from now on.
[00:04] Turk: I’m going to vote with my dad in the morning
[00:04] Turk: going to throw in with Abama
[00:06] Gawain: Obama.
[00:06] Gawain: lol
[00:06] Gawain: you kill me.
[00:06] Turk: whatever
[00:06] Gawain: hahahahahah
[00:06] Gawain: whatever.
[00:06] Gawain: hahahahahah
[00:07] Turk: at least I’m not voting for an old fuck and a dumb twat
[00:07] Gawain: thats true. I approve you not voting for the retard and the old guy.

Vote Abama!

Here is my chat with the Hotel Insider. We cover a few topics of interest regarding the worst hotel ever. What happened when the cops came to talk to me. What the hotel is like now. The newb auditor turned into a front desk supervisor. And a shared dislike for the biggest douche bag in the universe.

[3:31] Turk: you work at the desk?
[3:32] Hotel Insider: no
[3:32] Hotel Insider: I did do night audit before though at another hotel
[3:32] Turk: how did you find out about my site?
[3:32] Hotel Insider: back when you were fired and they were all investigating you etc
[3:32] Hotel Insider: actually when I seen your site
[3:32] Hotel Insider: I was like.. “man wish I could of met that guy he sounds pretty cool”
[3:33] Turk: wow did they make a big deal out of it?
[3:33] Hotel Insider: cause of the the idiots who stole crap from regal beloit
[3:33] Turk: oh
[3:33] Turk: right that shit
[3:33] Turk: heh
[3:33] Hotel Insider: well, we had just got regal beloit again for banquets
[3:33] Hotel Insider: and they were doing like meetings for this new program they paid a mil for or something for managers
[3:34] Hotel Insider: well these 3 people that use to work there I’m pretty sure stole this like big chest that they would keep there laptops in for the trainees
[3:34] Turk: yeah
[3:34] Hotel Insider: and they were watching you and seeing what you were posting etc seeing if maybe you were the one who did it

(more…)

Because these really are so easy. The last time I shocked Gawain like this it was my confession of disliking the Blue Man Group and that Jack Nicholson is a bad Joker.

[06:03] Gawain: lotion hee. I forgot about this.
[06:04] Gawain: I need to download the mp3 again.
[06:07] Turk: what is it?
[06:07] Turk: why do I want to watch it?
[06:07] Gawain: its the greenskeepers signing “it puts the lotion in the basket”
[06:07] Gawain: its OOOOOOLD.
[06:07] Turk: ahah
[06:07] Turk: ok
[06:07] Gawain: but still awesome.
[06:08] Turk: you lost me at greenskeepers
[06:08] Gawain: what?
[06:08] Turk: never heard of it/them
[06:08] Turk: this another weirdo german speed metal band?
[06:09] Gawain: no, not at all.
[06:09] Gawain: its acoustic guitar I think.
[06:09] Turk: ok looked it up on wikipedia
[06:10] Gawain: its just a funny goddamn song. christ.
[06:10] Turk: ok
[06:10] Turk: sorry
[06:10] Gawain: you’d think I sent you furry porn at some point or something.
[06:10] Turk: come on you know me. billy joel and frank sinatra
[06:10] Turk: musically challenged I’ve been called
[06:11] Gawain: well this is funny and you should watch it if you haven’t seen it. it came out like a couple years ago, but its still good. especially if you’re a silence of the lambs fan.
[06:11] Gawain: which I am.
[06:11] Turk: I’ve never seen it
[06:12] Gawain: hah hah. thats really funny. hah. not seen silence of the lambs. man you almost had me there.
[06:12] Turk: honestly
[06:12] Turk: hand to god
[06:12] Gawain: but… its one of the classics of modern cinema!
[06:12] Gawain: anthony fuckin’ hopkins!
[06:13] Turk: yeah I know of it
[06:13] Turk: just not seen it
[06:13] Turk: not really up my alley
[06:14] Turk: I’ve shattered your perception of me again, haven’t I?
[06:14] Gawain: …. HOW CAN THIS BEEEEEEE?!
[06:14] Gawain: shit, and now I have to go to work.
[06:14] Gawain: DOWNLOAD THE FUCKING MOVIE.
[06:14] Gawain: and watch it.
[06:14] Turk: in fact
[06:14] Turk: the line
[06:14] Turk: rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again
[06:14] Turk: I know from an episode of family guy
[06:14] Gawain: omg.
[06:14] Gawain: I can’t talk to you anymore.
[06:15] Gawain: jesus. download the movie. watch it. jesus. never… seen… jesus christ. how could you… have… gaaaaaaaaaaagh
[06:15] Turk: I’m just not into serial killers
[06:15] Turk: sorry

Not only have I not seen The Silence of the Lambs, I never seen any of the sequels either. I’m just not into these kinds of movies.

This shit starts out harmlessly.

[12:59] Gawain: Korn’s Another Brick In The Wall im not particularly a Korn fan, but they did a very nice cover of Another Brick In The Wall.
[1:00] Turk: korn?
[1:00] Gawain: yeah.
[1:00] Gawain: they covered a pink floyd song. and I have to say they did it really well.
[1:00] Turk: covering another brick in the wall?
[1:00] Gawain: yup.
[1:00] Gawain: just watch it.
[1:01] Turk: no
[1:03] Gawain: that site is awesome, btw.

Which makes me look around and I find some Doctor Who divx videos. Which leads to this conversation:

[2:31] Turk: The Mind Robbers second doctor story
[2:31] Turk: zoe was the hottest companion
[2:31] Turk: dig the photo copy backgrounds in the tardis console room in the begining
[2:31] Turk: got to love the 60’s bbc
[2:32] Gawain: you are such a goddamn fanboy.
[2:38] Turk: yeah
[2:42] Turk: Zoe honestly
[2:42] Turk: hot
[2:43] Turk: and she would wear these skin tight outfits
[2:43] Turk: man
[2:50] Gawain: the wife asked what I was looking at, I explained, she rolled her eyes and called you a nerd.
[2:50] Turk: …
[2:50] Gawain: heh.
[2:50] Gawain: and then went to bed.
[2:51] Turk: remind her when she gets up that at least I’m not some larping faggot
[2:51] Gawain: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[2:51] Gawain: holy shit, that is the ultimate trump card.
[2:51] Turk: thank you
[2:51] Turk: I didn’t want to do it
[2:51] Turk: but I had to
[2:51] Gawain: heh.
[2:51] Gawain: you totally bypassed cruise missiles and went straight to nukes.

For those who want to see what I’m talking about, here is a thumbnailed picture (that I made Gawain check out) of the Second Doctor‘s companion Zoe Heriot mentioned above: