The following joke is my all time favorite. I often tell it making sure to scream out the punchline as loud as I can.

One hot day on a beautiful beach, a good looking male is going for his usual jog along the shore. But, on this day he stops and notices something new in his travels. A woman, is crying her eyes out. And he could understand why, the poor lady had no arms and legs , and was sitting in a lawn chair. He feels bad for her and stops his jog to see what could possibly be wrong with her and if he could help.

He asks, “Are you alright? I saw you crying and I couldn’t help but stop and ask you if your okay and if I could help.”

She says, “Well, Seeing as how I have no arms or legs, everyone is afraid of me, and I’ve never been hugged before, so Can you hug me?”

He says, “Sure, why not.” So the handsome stud hugs her. She stops crying, and he bids her goodbye and continues his run.

The next day he goes for his run again. Yet once again, he see’s the same woman with no arms and no legs sobbing to no end. Out of pity he stops his run and goes up to her.

He says, “Ma’am I couldn’t help but notice you were crying again, is there anything I can do to help you?”

She says, “Well,seeing as how I have no arm’s and legs, everyone is afraid of me, so If you wouldn’t mind, could you kiss me, I’ve never been kissed before.”

He says, “Sure, why not?” as soon as he kisses her, he bids her goodbye and moves on with his run.

The next day he goes for his run as usual, and notices the same lady with no arms and no legs, lying in her lawn chair crying again. Now he’s starting to get really aggravated, and frankly he’s not in the mood to deal with any of the hassle today. But, out of pity he stops his run and goes up to her yet once again and says, “What’s wrong? I’m really willing to help you out, if you would just stop crying, so tell me.”

So she says, “well, seeing as how I have no arms and legs, everyone is afraid of me, and I’ve always wanted to get fucked, so will you fuck me?”

An expression crossed his face that no words could describe, so she wipes the tears of her face, he picks her up and throws her in the water, Shouting out as she starts to sink into the water “Now your fucked!“

This sums up my sick sense of humor.