Here is a neat memo from the Owner. Remember that my special sarcasm filter is on. Now I thought it was pretty nice of them to offer this service to this <Name Removed>. Right below is the almost unaltered memo (names removed for my protection and theirs), right after that is the same memo with comments generated by the universal bullshit translator.

Here’s the original:

December 28, 2002
To: Front Desk
From: <Name Removed>
RE: Instructions for Security

<Name Removed> has requested that <Name Removed> is provided security from 3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. while she sells tickets until security leaves the premises. <Name Removed> will be contacting the front desk for this purpose at 3:15 q.m. each morning. Please make sure Security is waiting for <Name Removed> in the morning.

Thank You,

<Name Removed>

Here is my copy ran through the universal bullshit translator (the translator’s output will be in bold):

December 28, 2002
To: Lowly Peons
From: Your God
RE: Instructions for Security

Your God has requested that Some High Up Flunky is provided security from 3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. (we don’t give a shit if the rest of the hotel has security) while she sells tickets until security leaves the premises. Some High Up Flunky will be contacting the Lowly Peons (who we deem does not need security) for this purpose at 3:15 q.m. each morning. Please make sure Security (because Security has nothing better to do) is waiting for Some High Up Flunky in the morning. From here on in Security’s title is Babysitter.

Thank You,

Your God

I personally find this amusing. I mean it’s not like I was robbed before or anything. It makes me wonder if these people give a shit about their employee’s. I think they don’t even give one shit. What can you do?