In what seems like a never ending run of stupefying plots on a day time soap, it gets weirder and weirder here at the website. I got rather happy one night and wrote about one of my good friends (opposed to bad friends) offended(?) one of my readers. I won’t put the whole thing up because it’s boring. But there was a bit that caught someone’s eye:

Hey Buddy! Well I was just showing my little brother your website. Thought I would say hi at least. Talk to you later.

In example of the women that are spoken for I present exhibit A (above). It’s the kind of thing you wish something’s were different. Me being Me, I can’t wish that the people that are lucky enough to have these rare gems to give them up for me. Back to this bud of mine. This women I must confess in my drunkenness is quite amazing. She is smart. She has a very easy personality to get a long with. And she is beautiful. Of course you must say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To me she is beauty incarnate. What do I know? So this bud of mine is afraid(?) to embrace what he has. My advice to him is go for it. What a pussy. He is obviously happy with this women. So why do we as men fight this happiness? I don’t get it. Me I can’t get over one women. I feel this is god way of punishing me by throwing all of these marvelous women at me. Never being able to be anything more than friends. Oh shit, I let you in to more than you need or want to know. Whoops. that damn booze.

Well because of this rather drunken bit of merriment on my part I received the following E-mail:

Turk
What the hell are you talking about? What was the whole in your drunkenness writing about? Are you trying to suggest that you have feelings for me? I just wanted to show my little brother the site and you send back this e-mail. What are you really thinking about. It is O.K. you can tell me. I will erase this e-mail before my boyfriend ever gets a chance to read it. I really want to know what is going on in your situation and in your life. Did you go looking for me the other night or was that A different friend? I just have so many questions for you. who is this other friend that you speak of? Why do you view me as the greatest thing since sliced bread? I would appreciate and e-mail so time soon explaining what you really meant in you writing. Do you think about me often? Just explain yourself! Well I have to go do laundry so don’t send any e-mail until after 10:00 tonight. I’ll find time to read it.

Your Buddy,

E____

So later talking to E____ I find out the e-mail didn’t come from her. Weird eh? I’m getting ahead of my self. So I send the following testimonial thinking I was talking to the women:

No. No. Jesus. You don’t take a compliment very well. Women. I have to stop drinking.
I don’t have feelings for you other than you are a friend. You were just an example. Sorry. I am jealous of anyone who has that special someone. Its a trait of the lonely to be jealous of those that have something that the lonely does not. For one thing I consider S____ a Friend. I would not do anything to jeopardize our friendship. Whether he thinks of me as a friend or not. Men should never let women come between us. As should your friends that are girls should not be brought between you and S____. To me friends are important. I think all of my friends women or men are “the greatest thing since sliced bread.”

You see me and K____ were the only two single guys that I know. He has gotten over his old love, harpy numero ono. I just felt that maybe I could try to let go of my lost love of my life. Who happens to be harpy number seven. All I’m saying is that I hope when I have the chance to find a women that she be like the women my friends have. I can’t explain it. I have lived a bachelor since the end of my senior year of high school.

Since most of my friends are married, and know that one of them has a kid I feel as if time is running fast. And I mean really fast. I just want what they have. Men are very competitive. Another of my close high school buds, he always try’s to keep up with T___. When he heard T___ was getting married, he got him a women and married her before T___ got to marry B____. T___ has a kid, know he has knocked up his wife. Competition. I always say that I’m not trying to compete with T___ or my other friends. Yet I feel like I’m falling behind in some race. But that is my own personal troubles.

So in closing, I do not go after women who are spoken for. One of these days I might attempt the dating thing. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. In K____ I saw how he has forgotten his past. Me I just have a harder time shelving the past.

And if S____ reads this first, I don’t have feelings for her other than she is a friend. If this simple statement is not good enough again I say If this does not answer your questions, let me assure you that I will never speak of it again. End of subject. [I lied.-Ed]

Even more drastic because I want to make my self really clear. I want to be crystal clear here. If this pisses off anyone I can forget you guys phone number. I will erase your e-mail address and I remove all reference to you, her, S____ or other wise. This if you are kosher with what I have said the above can be ignored. Yet if you even have a doubt about who I am or what I represent as friends, I am willing to do this to keep you two happy with each other. I remember the last time S____ was pissed at me and I do not want a repeat. I am not in the mood. I am not content with my station in life, and I can’t, and won’t explain it better than this.

So what I want to understand is why the subterfuge and send the e-mail as his girlfriend? If you have a problem why not talk to me about it? That’s all I want. So I have hung out at the hotel bar because it is close to where I live. And that I still have a few friends down there. Yet when I see the angry(?) boyfriend he does not talk to me. I just want to understand what is happening. And I realize this all may seem to personal to anyone who reads this on a casual basis. To you I say to bad. Its my website I write what I want.

The wise all knowing Jose Arcadio Buendia checked in and had this to comment on the situation:

Today we will talk about irony. I guess the hotel and you have an ironic bond. The place you hated for so long is now your social hang-out. I guess that’s like what they say about women “Can’t live with them; can’t live without them.”

For the record Jose, I did not hate the hotel. I hated the way the hotel has become. I have had many fun times at that hotel. To many in fact to list. And to this day I miss that goddamned place. I left behind a few comrades who still suffer at that place as it is today. Here is my quote marks quote “Know thy enemy.” You can take that any way you want. Just have knowledge in the subject matter before you make your judgments.

Well here it is, the 27th of march. I am now 27. I feel old. Anyway I have to wish Izer and Stanley’s Wife a happy Birth Day. It seems great people are born on the 27th of march.

From the GuestBook comes this:

I read your recent rant titled “The Soap Opera’ and have to guess this S_____ is a younger kid, am I right? He needs to grow up from the sound of it. Some people just don’t ever get the hang of it. And some of them never grow up. That’s the breaks. Any way cool site you have. A little on the weird side but what can you do? I did laugh till I hurt. You have the satire end down pretty good. To finish if this guy you’ve wrote about keeps this shit up just tell him to grow up.

It seems Pete hit my page from the Sobo Reunion Web Site. He had a point that I was not trying to get to. And I by all means do not endorse this guys opinion of The Soap Opera story.