Top Ten Good And Bad Things About Troy’s Hair Loss by Tom Stanley.

10. Starts new political party called the Baldacrates.

9. Tells people He is the missing bald Beatles.

8. Becomes youngest President of the Hair Club for men.

7. At 75 loses His mind and has His ears pierced and lives in a fantasy world where he is “Mr. Clean”.

6. Wins 1999 Marlon Brando look a like contest at the Sand Festival.

5. Entertains kids at family picnics by frying eggs on top of his head with only a magnifying glass.

4. Becomes lifetime member of the Autobon Society for generous donations of drain hair for preservation of nests for homeless birds.

3. Lands lead role in retirement home production of the King and I.

2. Being mistaken for Telly Savalis’s younger bisexual brother.

And the number one Good and Bad Things About Troy’s Hair Loss is:

1. Irrational fear of bending over in local bowling alley.