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Top Ten Good And Bad Things About Troy’s Hair Loss by Tom Stanley.
- Starts new political party called the Baldacrates.
- Tells people He is the missing bald Beatles.
- Becomes youngest President of the Hair Club for men.
- At 75 loses His mind and has His ears pierced and lives in a fantasy world where he is “Mr. Clean”.
- Wins 1999 Marlon Brando look a like contest at the Sand Festival.
- Entertains kids at family picnics by frying eggs on top of his head with only a magnifying glass.
- Becomes lifetime member of the Autobon Society for generous donations of drain hair for preservation of nests for homeless birds.
- Lands lead role in retirement home production of the King and I.
- Being mistaken for Telly Savalis’s younger bisexual brother.
And the number one Good and Bad Things About Troy’s Hair Loss is:
- Irrational fear of bending over in local bowling alley.